Be Inspired

I am watching Finger of God in my spare time. I pull it up on Youtube, and even though it takes 30 minutes to load one video it is well worth the wait. This is the passion that I desire to live in and commune with God through. I hope this stirs the same passion in you. Enjoy!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_d9fnWC3YBs

It's No Surprise

    Sometimes I feel like I should be in shock that I'm really back in Newcastle. Like it's some miracle that everything has worked out. And although it is a huge work of God that things have gone this smoothly, I don't think I should be blown away by the fact that God is being himself, a provider. God spoke his plan to me. He told me what he saw in my future and invited me to be apart of it and to be as excited about it as he is. So why is it that, as soon as I step away from the canvas God is painting called my life, and start looking at the facts, I begin to have daily mini freak outs? I choose to stress about the little things, freak about the big ones and confess to everyone that God is going to have to preform a BIG miracle in order for me to keep where he has me. Now, I do believe in miracles, I think they are amazing and get the goose bumps when I hear the stories just as much as the next person. So what is it that makes me believe that the anonymous donation or unreal deliverance is in a different category  from the paycheck that slipped into my account on time? I don't think God intended his miracles to be treated like prizes out of a slot machine. If we jump up and down three times and think of happy things you'll get what you want. Maybe you don't do that before you pray but I have totally found myself thinking before I prayer, "have I been in the word this week?, do I deserve this?, did I tithe this month?" On the surface I know that those things don't make God love or provide for me more but it does feel like it could help. I feel like God is viewed as this mystical being up in heaven that we have to please in order to receive a blessing. In the end we look like blind beggars feeling around for the perfect words and behavior to gain our gift. I don't want to think that way anymore.  God is a father so that means he loves to provide for us and he's God so he can give us anything he wants. I don't want to be shocked into a stupor the next time God comes through for me. He has told me his plans for me and I should be an expectant child awaiting the best of the best from him. That's what I want to be, my hands are open.

Still Clinging

       Tonight, as I sat in the hallway surrounded by my praying family, God gave me a vision. I saw myself as a small child in a pool learning to swim. You know the scene, the little kid has a death grip on her parents neck with her right arm, while at the same time desperately reaching for the swim instructor with her left. The mental struggle is written all over the child's face as she contemplates her options. One, she can choose safely and comfort and not do anything but cry and shiver until the lesson is over and she can go home. Two, she can choose to go for it and trust that the baby-talking instructor across from her will catch her like they say they will. Now, I don't know if this is what's going through a kid mind during a real swim lesson, more then likely their too freaked out to even think straight, but this is what I was thinking in my vision. As I sat there viewing this scene in my minds eye God began to speak to me. In His beautifully sweet way He said, "Hannah, you are the frightened kid, with your shaking limbs and quivering lip. You are caught between two forms of provision and protection. The parent represents your family and the comforts of home. The swim instructor represents Me and my comfort. These last few months have been the painful middle time. You have been testing the waters and giving half-hearted attempts at fully trusting me and totally letting go. This next adventure is your final effort. Your white knuckled fingers are slowing uncurling and both hands are desperately reaching for something to cling to. Hannah, I am the instructor. Cling to me, let your arms wrap themselves around me and never plan to let go." I can't stop thinking about this vision and its perfection in describing my struggle during these last weeks. Tomorrow I leave for Seattle, WA to stay with a friend before my flight to Australia on the 3rd of October. Tomorrow I choose to let go and cling to God like I never have before. I am so scared at times and I can not stand the thought of letting my family and comfort go, but at the same time I am beyond excited for the freedom awaiting me in my swim instructors arms.
With this new adventure looming in front of me prayer is greatly needed. Travel safety and peace that passes all understanding during my flight. Clarity during these next few months and an ever deepening intimacy with the Holy Spirit and His best friends. Continued peace over finances and full trust in the Creator of the Universe. I continually feel so blessed and supported by friends and family.  Thank you for taking part in this adventure with me. My steps are so confident because of the army of warriors who stand behind me. Until next time here's a thought from C.S. Lewis to think over.

God cannot give us a happiness and peace
apart from Himself, because it is not there.
There is no such thing. C. S. Lewis